The 14 Worst Kinds of Late People

Considering I’m sorta a mix between 2, 13, and 14, I feel there is something I need to do to work on this chronic problem in my life.. because I care, but yet I’m still late to places. So, do I really care? I need a cattle prod, I guess, to get me moving in the morning. I mean, sometimes I will wake up less than an hour and half before I have to be somewhere, and I’ll be about 5-10 minutes late. Other times, I will wake up more than two hours I need to be at work and will still manage to be 10 minutes late. What gives? Why can’t I get this down?

In college, I managed to arrange it that for my 9 o’clock a.m. Monday/Wednesday/Friday class, I barely skipped any so I would have more “lates” to use, meaning I knew that I’d be more likely to be late to class than skip the class itself. My freshman year I was only on time to class because my roommates forced me to get up, get around, and go to breakfast and then class with one of them. I guess social pressure helps some to encourage you to do the normal, adult thing and be on time places. But, at the same time, clearly I didn’t learn to take these characteristics to heart and make them a part of my schedule. Again, I guess I don’t care enough about others’ time. And, that’s a problem. I’m not sure what the solution is to this much-more-common-than-some-would-have-you-believe problem, though..


“What late people don’t understand about on-time people,” comedian Mike Birbiglia says in a stand-up routine, “is that we hate them.” He goes on to make a clear distinction between two types of people: earlies and laties. And getting a reputation as a latie, he says, is not a good thing.

Was it cool when New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio recently arrived 80 minutes late at the Vatican — the Vatican! — to deliver a speech about climate change? (Or all the other times he was seriously behind schedule?) Was it all fine and good that time Nicki Minaj crept in late to a live broadcast of American Idol? How about when your friend Scott (ugh, Scott) showed up a half hour late to your coffee date for the fifth time?

The answer, of course, is no. No, lateness is not cool. Sure, it happens to…

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